


Impractical Lovers

by KittieHill



Category: Impractical Jokers
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, First Kiss, Friendship, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2014-09-23
Packaged: 2018-02-18 13:13:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2349653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittieHill/pseuds/KittieHill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn’s head spun from the effects of the copious amount of alcohol he had consumed in the theatre bar. He closed his eyes and groaned at the intrusive sound of Sal’s deep snores, cursing his best friend under his breath as he attempted to sleep. He could smell the lingering scent of Sal’s orgasm, the men had been together as a group long enough to understand the needs of one another and they always respectfully ignored the occasional groan or grunt coming from the covered bunks when they were on tour. They laughed and joked about wanking of course, but never got personal. Quinn’s own cock was stirring but he felt too drunk to physically deal with his needs, instead, he toed off his shoes and pulled down his jeans to fall asleep in his t-shirt and pants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impractical Lovers

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god, what have I done? Why have I done this?! I have no idea! 
> 
> Couldn't find any good sexy fanfics so I thought I'd attempt to write one. Comments are welcome!

The tour bus was cramped; rucksacks and clothing lay in the walkway as Sal attempted to walk to his bed. His borderline OCD kicking in to clear away the filthy plates from the table they had sat at earlier before the show but he shook the thought away and continued his journey down to the sleeping area.

The show had been a roaring success; the guys had been on fire and the audience lapped it up much to the delight of the group. Thankful for the little bit of fame they now had thanks to Impractical Jokers going international. The other 3 were still drinking in the bar, slapping one another on the back and discussing former glories but Sal was too tired, his head ached and he wanted a moments peace before the guys came back to fill the bus with laughter and dirty innuendoes. Sal undressed to his boxer shorts and climbed into the bunk he was to call home for the next 3 weeks, his back relaxed into the mattress and he closed his eyes sleepily and lazily ran his fingers over his skin watching goosebumps raise at the pleasant sensation.

His body reacted quickly to the stimulus; his cock beginning to harden in the tight fabric of his boxer shorts as he imagined a pretty redhead between his thighs, licking and sucking on his cock as he whined and keened above her, his fingers snagging into her hair as she worked his shaft. He pulled down the fabric to below his ass and wrapped his own hand around his hardness, feeling the soft skin moving with each motion, a bead of precum already forming at his tip. He brushed his thumb over the head and groaned deeply as the tingling sensation spread down his spine, he tried to remember last time he had been able to get himself off like this, unhurried lazy touches rather than quick wanks in the shower before a gig and before the guys could catch him. He knew the others had the same urges but they wouldn’t discuss it, what happened in the showers was off limits _even for them_

Sal thought back to the pretty redhead of his fantasies, she would be sucking on his tip now, her tongue gliding wetly over the glans as her hand wrapped around his length and stroked quickly in a steady pounding rhythm, maybe she would even lower her hand to his balls, caressing them and stroking them until Sal’s back arched from the bunk and he groaned deeply that he was close

He knew he was close, he could feel the tingling sensation spreading through his body in waves. His wrist flicked the way he loved, feeling the twist against the sensitive skin drag another moan from his lips. His hips bucked into his fist quickly as he desperately chased his climax. He reached under his pillow and pulled out the tissues he had stored there earlier in the day and left them close to his body as he got closer… his skin tickled and he reached down to grab his balls as he erupted in pent-up frustration, rope after rope of hot creamy cum covered his chubby belly, sticking to the hairs below his navel as he moaned and whimpered through his orgasm.

Sal attempted to catch his breath, his body floated with the blissful endorphins spreading through his brain. He lay for a moment, feeling the pools of cum slowly turn cold on his skin before wiping them away with the tissues and leaving them by his bed to throw away later. He pulled up his boxers and turned onto his side, falling into a deep and dreamless sleep almost immediately

 

* * *

 

The trio walked to the bus, giggling childishly as they attempted to keep quiet and not wake the sleeping Sal who was snoring loud enough that the men could hear him from outside the bus. The men laughed and supported one another as they opened the door to the bus and climbed up the stairs avoiding the mess they had left which surprisingly hadn’t been cleaned up by Sal. The men said goodnight and each went into their own bunk, pulling the curtains around for privacy as Sal continued snoring loudly

Quinn’s head spun from the effects of the copious amount of alcohol he had consumed in the theatre bar. He closed his eyes and groaned at the intrusive sound of Sal’s deep snores, cursing his best friend under his breath as he attempted to sleep. He could smell the lingering scent of Sal’s orgasm, the men had been together as a group long enough to understand the needs of one another and they always respectfully ignored the occasional groan or grunt coming from the covered bunks when they were on tour. They laughed and joked about wanking of course, but never got personal. Quinn’s own cock was stirring but he felt too drunk to physically deal with his needs, instead, he toed off his shoes and pulled down his jeans to fall asleep in his t-shirt and pants.

He was awoken by the scream of Sal waking up in a panic; Quinn opened his curtain and heard the tell-tale giggle of Murr and the angry shouts of Sal who spouted angry swear words at his friend. Murr had thrown his shoe at Sal to get him to stop snoring which had hit Sal in the face, waking him up from his dream and causing him to panic slightly at the feeling. Murr continued giggling behind his curtain, taking the brunt of Sal’s name calling with a smile

‘You shouldn’t have been snoring so loud. You’re going to wake the whole fucking town’ Murray had laughed, happy when he heard that Joe had also started to laugh

‘You’re a prick Murray’ Sal had said, turning onto his opposite side and closing the curtain to his bunk tightly ‘im going to wipe my balls on your face when you sleep’

The bus exploded in laughter before the men settled down to sleep once again

The next morning the guys awoke to Sal singing loudly; his tuneless voice carrying through the bus loud enough to make the hungover trio wince

‘Vulcano. Shut the fuck up’ Quinn shouted angrily, pulling the pillow over his face to drown out the cacophony of noise

‘Get up or its Butterfly Crime scene time’ Sal laughed, remembering his punishment in front of the baseball fans

The 3 men crawled from their bunks; Murray looked the roughest, his eyes red and his face pale as he tried to remember how many jagerbombs they had consumed the night before. Joe clicked on the kettle and began making strong coffee whilst Q searched for his hat, running his fingers through the thick locks of his hair before pressing the hat over the top

‘Only 3 more weeks’ Sal smiled, watching as Q’s head rested on the table with a thud

 

* * *

 

The men finished the show and went for a drink in a local Irish pub, listening to the happy Celtic music which played along as they drank heartily. The men dared each other to down Guinness, Q was dared to dance with a drunk old fella who showed him a traditional Irish jig and Joe got up to sing on Karaoke whilst the crowd shouted ‘Larry!’ at him much to his joy.

A cry came up from the patrons of the bar at the beginning chords of the famous ‘Shipping off to Boston’; girls dragged their friends to the dancefloor as the music played. Sal, Joe and Murr joined in dancing along with the pretty girls whilst Q sat at the bar nursing his Whisky and tapping his foot to the tune. The four friends enjoyed their night together and stayed until the bar owner shooed them out into the cold night air, Sal and Q walked together, Sal’s arm thrown over Q’s shoulder as they laughed and sang along to the hardly recognisable lyrics to the songs they had heard. Murray and Joe walked ahead happily dancing to the bus; the men let themselves into the bus and Joe and Murray went straight to their bunk, Joe had to call his wife and Murray had his own needs to quench thanks to a young lady grinding against him to the music. The others ignored the evidence of their friends arousal and let him off the hook with just gentle jibes

Sal and Q sat at the now cleaned table _(evidently one of the crew had decided it was too disgusting)_ and nursed a few more beers, talking shit and trying to ignore the hushed voice of Joe having phone sex with his wife. The pair chatted easily talking about the tour so far, about comic books and films before going onto memories of their high school days. Feeling relaxed and comfortable in each others company the two men began getting into deeper conversations,

‘I never did thank you properly’ Q started, clearing his throat which had become tight with emotion

‘For what?’ Sal replied quizzically

‘It’s been over 10 years’

‘Oh’ Sal looked at his friend who was unable to maintain eye contact, instead, looking at the bottle of beer in his hand

‘I mean… You saved my life man. If you hadn’t of been there to talk to me and just _be_ with me… I don’t think I would be here’ Q smiled thinly

‘That’s what friends do’ Sal smiled, his fingers running through his hair at the surprising depth of his feelings for the man beside him

‘I was just so alone y’know? And I felt lost and worthless but you made me realise it was okay… and I can never make it up to you’ Q said touching Sal’s hand softly

The men realised that they were getting closer but unable to stop whatever was attracting them, their lips moved without them realising until the beer-drenched lips pressed softly against one another. Their eyes wide with shock and confusion but their lips deepening the kiss, their tongues entering one another's mouths as their breathing hitched at the wet contact. Sal relaxed and pressed his fingers to Quinn’s hair, stroking his fingers through the small strands which had fallen over the other mans face to tuck them behind his ear; listening as Q moaned softly and pressed his own hand against Sal’s hip, pressing harder against his friends lips as their tongues clumsily swept across one another. Their cocks hardening in their denim jeans, pressing against the zips almost painfully

The men pulled away at the strangled sound of Joe reaching his climax over the phone to his wife. A half-choked grunt and growl which set the two men giggling like schoolboys together, their kiss stored in the back of their mind as they continued drinking and talking as though nothing happened before retiring to bed with a simple ‘goodnight’

* * *

 

The routine was the same for the next few weeks, perform on stage before drinking heavily and crashing out on the bus, eating dreadful food and tormenting one another until they reached New York and were given permission to stay at home for a few days from the production team. Murray and Joe looked at the other two and headed home immediately to see their significant others after being sex starved for a fortnight. Q and Sal went back to Sal’s house since both lived alone and Q’s mother was cat-sitting and didn’t expect him home, Sal shook his head and laughed at Quinn’s ridiculous love of his cats but invited him back anyway telling him to make himself comfortable whilst he had a shower. Quinn rested his tired head against Sal’s sofa and dozed until he heard Sal return into the front room, a white towel wrapped around his waist

Quinn looked at Sal in shock, the white towel made his tanned skin darker, the trails of dark hair covering his chest and stomach made Quinn stare and follow the soft outline of Sal’s cock which could be seen clearly beneath the white fabric

‘Quinn? Dude? The fuck?’ Sal asked, attempting to cover himself with his large hands

‘God, sorry. No idea why I was staring… mind if I shower?’ Quinn asked watching Sal fight the urge to scream no and refuse to let the hairy man into his private bathroom

‘Sure. Towels are in the closet’ he said shakily, turning his body quickly so Quinn couldn’t tell he was beginning to stiffen under his gaze

Quinn walked to the bathroom, turning the shower on and making sure the water was scorching hot and fast as he quickly undressed and climbed under the water. Hissing slightly as the water turned his pale skin lobster red, he rested his arm against the tiles and lowered his head onto the wet skin. His mind was whirring at the thoughts and feelings rushing through his body because of Sal, he wasn’t sure how he felt about the man… of course he loved Sal; they had been friends forever and Sal had helped him through the worst time of his life but he didn’t know whether he was sexually attracted to men or just Sal.

The door opened and he turned his head quickly, a look of confusion crossing his features as Sal entered the bathroom still clad only in his towel. Sal walked with confidence he didn’t really feel up to the shower cubicle before pulling open the door and pulling off his towel and climbing into the shower with his friend

‘Sal?’ Quinn asked nervously, his stomach cramping painfully as he looked up at his friend

‘Shut up’ Sal said harshly, pressing his lips against Quinn’s silencing his friend

Quinn stiffened and squeaked out a whimper before he kissed back, his tongue flicking over Sal’s lower lips before entering his minty fresh mouth. Their tongues dancing with one another as the hot water trickled down their bodies

‘I don’t- I don’t know what this is’ Sal admitted, his hands stroking down Quinns soft curves ‘but I can't stop thinking about our kiss’

Quinn shivered in arousal as Sal stroked his skin, Quinn attacked Sal’s neck and throat with his lips, the prickle of his beard feeling so different to anything Sal had ever felt before. His lips and tongue combined to nuzzle against the pressure points on Sal’s sensitive throat, Q felt Sal’s pulse increase, hammering against the thin skin of his throat as Quinn continued his journey

Quinn’s fingers circled over the pebbled nipples which stood erect from Sal’s body, touching and stroking them until he felt Sal’s erection pressing against his own, the two men rutted against each other, loving the feel of their skin on skin contact combined with the hot water rushing over their bodies. Quinn circled his hand around their cocks, pressing them together and stroking quickly, their sticky precum spreading over one another's tips

‘Q-Quinn… I’m close’ Sal spat, his hips thrusting against Quinns hand

‘Me too’ Quinn keened, his lips meeting Sal’s again as they kissed deeply

‘ _Fuck, fuck, oh god yes’_ the men chanted together as they reached climax at the same time. Ropes of cum coating Q’s fist and their thighs as they sighed resting sated against one another.

They stand silently, slightly awkward as the realisation of their actions dawns

‘We should get out’ Quinn suggested unable to meet Sal’s gaze

‘Yeh,’ Sal agrees before grabbing Quinn's chin for another deep kiss; smiling at the giggles which erupted from Quinns lips.


End file.
